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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28492098">It's Okay to be Sad</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/13thSpider/pseuds/13thSpider'>13thSpider</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Doctor Who, Doctor Who (2005)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>F/F, Lesbian Sex</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-01-02</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-01-02</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-10 16:54:03</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Explicit</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,819</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28492098</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/13thSpider/pseuds/13thSpider</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Yaz knows the Doctor needs cheering up. And she also knows just how to try.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Thasmin - Relationship, Thirteenth Doctor/Yasmin Khan</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>7</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>85</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>It's Okay to be Sad</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>SPOILER WARNING<br/>-This fic takes place immediately after the 2021 Holiday Special, "Revolution of the Daleks" so if you have not watched it yet it may minorly spoil the ending of the episode.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Alone. </p><p>They were alone, together. In the TARDIS. </p><p>They had been alone on occasion before, of course, Yaz knew that. Plenty of times Ryan and Graham had wandered off leaving her behind with… with her. But they were always fleeting, always on the run. Too busy getting themselves out of the Doctor’s sort of trouble to get themselves into the sort of trouble Yaz had imagined since the day this incredible blonde woman fell from the sky in her tattered velvet coat. </p><p>But now, here they were. Her childhood friend and his bumbling but delightful granddad had closed the door and left their little family behind. Yaz found herself wrestling with her spiking feelings. She didn’t have two hearts like the Doctor but she didn’t feel any less torn between the sadness of seeing them go and the overwhelming rush of joy at realizing that even for a moment she might, at long last, have her all to herself. </p><p>She breathed a sigh of guilty relief at Ryan’s departure. She loved him too, but perhaps not in the way his occasional glances suggested. It was easier for him to go on his own. She had struggled so long for words she couldn’t form for fear of possibly hurting him, and in doing so pushing the door between her and the Doctor further shut. But now, now that door had jimmied open a bit, hadn’t it?</p><p>“I could always use the TARDIS to go back,” The Doctor said as the TARDIS door closed in front of them, “arrive an hour after you guys.” They both continued to stare ahead, but even without seeing her face, Yaz could feel the pain in her voice. “Change the timeline! Then we’d have more time together…” </p><p>“It’s okay to be sad,” Yaz heard herself say. It was as much to herself as the Doctor. It was reassurance. She could feel her own grief for the departure of her friends while still holding on to that flicker of joy that she warmed herself with. </p><p>The Doctor’s arms went slack, falling to their sides. It was strange to see her so motionless for so long. Normally when she was uncomfortable, she’d flitter them about with nervous energy, putting her hands on every lever and button she could find on the TARDIS console. But for moments that stretched out for a seeming eternity, they just stood. Until finally Yaz, not knowing what confidence possessed her, reached her own hand forward and brushed it against the Doctor’s. Feeling the hand twitch, she took another deep breath and then opened her fingers in a tender grasp. </p><p>The Doctor turned towards her, a small but significant supply of tears developing. Yaz, summoning more bravery than she’d needed even to face down Cybermen or giant spiders, raised her right arm now and used a gentle stroke of her finger to wipe a tear from the Doctor’s eye and brush her hair back. To Yaz’ssurprise the Doctor reflexively parted her lips ever so slightly, and not wanting to waste an opportunity she’d thought she’d never get again, Yaz leaned forward and kissed her. </p><p>The first kiss was a short one. Light, sweet, not lingering too long, pulling away and waiting patiently, not wanting to overstay a welcome if it had been an unwelcome gesture that caught the Doctor by surprise. It was an overture, an invitation. Her words had said it’s okay to be sad, but her touch was telling the Doctor that if she wanted, in this moment, Yaz could find other things to make her feel. </p><p>The ten months that Yaz had waited for the Doctor to return felt fleeting compared to the mere moments that she waited after her kiss. Wondering if she’d overstepped, wondering if she had simply gotten it wrong. Just as she was beginning to fear that she might have to follow her friends out, pack up her bags, and leave the TARDIS herself in embarrassment, the Doctor responded. Not with words, but in the same language that Yaz had spoken. She leaned in and their lips met once again, this time with pressure and intensity that even Yaz had not expected. </p><p>The Doctor’s free hand reached around behind Yaz, both pulling them closer together and creeping its way up her back. Her fingers began to tangle themselves in Yaz’s hair, until the Doctor felt she had a good grip’s worth and gently pulled on some, causing a rush of electricity to jolt all through Yaz’s body. She jutted her head back and parted her lips to allow the Doctor’s tongue to find its way inside. </p><p>Yaz had never kissed another woman before. She’d certainly thought about it, in school, at the academy, occasionally around the precinct or walking her beat. But when the Doctor returned her kiss, Yaz had the realization that even her powerful imagination had never done justice to the overwhelming sense of just how right something could feel. </p><p>Her hand that had so dutifully graced the Doctor’s face now found itself moving down to Yaz’s own waist, undoing the buttons and zipper holding her pants up. She shook herself free of the Doctor’s embrace for only a moment, enough to adjust her shoulders to slip her heavy leather jacket off, allowing it to fall to the floor. Her eyes met the Doctor’s and she leaned back in for another kiss. This time, she hooked her arms around the Doctor, placing her hands on her shoulders and, once she’d steadied herself, lifted her legs to wrap around her waist. The Doctor, though seemingly small and light in stature, was able to balance Yaz’s body with effortless grace, and she felt safe. </p><p>The Doctor walked both of them, Yaz now working her mouth down the inside of her kneck into the crook of her shoulder, past the TARDIS console to the riser-like steps just beyond it, where she was able to place Yaz back down comfortably as the Doctor began removing clothes as well. First, her trademark jacket, neatly placed beside them. Then it came time for Yaz’s boots, one by one as she stuck her legs out for the Doctor to pull them off. Then, the pants. Yaz shimmied her waist as the Doctor slid them off her. </p><p>The Doctor had selected the perfect spot, height-wise. Yaz was able to lean back enough to pull her feet up to use her legs to pull the Doctor back towards her. She lay down as flat as she could so that the Doctor could press herself down on top of her. Feeling herself pinned down while the Doctor’s lips found hers again caused Yaz to let out a little moan. The Doctor clearly liked that sound, pulling her face back a little and scronching her nose in that way that had made Yaz quietly die a million times before, and grinning from ear to ear. </p><p>Yaz grabbed the Doctor’s suspenders and pulled them down off her shoulders, letting them dangle a bit. The number of times she had stared at those suspenders imagining the things she could do if she had control over them, the power to hold the Doctor in place with them, and now all she wanted was to get them off of her, get them free so she could pull that rainbow-striped tee-shirt over her head. Instead, all she did was slide her fingers up under the tail and run her fingers along her back. Her fingernails digging in just a little, meaning now it was the Doctor’s turn to moan.</p><p>“Two can play at that game, Yaz,” she, and suddenly Yaz felt herself convulse as the Doctor’s hand caressed the inside of her left thigh, giving a slight squeeze before pulling Yaz’s leg up over her shoulder and thrusting herself against her. Yaz went from a moan to a full-on squeal and suddenly she could feel how wet she was as the Doctor pressed against her. </p><p>As if also becoming as aware in that moment, the Doctor’s finger found its way to the waistband of Yaz’s drenched underwear and thumbed it outward. Soon her hand had slid underneath it, and Yaz let out another squeal as the Doctor simultaneously brought her teeth down into a tender bite at the base of Yaz’s ear and slid her finger inside of her. Then another. Soon her thumb made itself busy as well working Yaz’s sweet spot. Her legs reflexively shuttered as the Doctor’s hands penetrated her slower, then faster, then slower again. </p><p>The Doctor removed her hand and then, after giving Yaz another kiss on the lips and lingering for a moment, began to unbutton the bottom of Yaz’s shirt and slide her body down her torso until the Doctor was completely on her knees in front of Yaz’s trembling frame. She kissed her just below her navel, before the Doctor’s tongue finally took control of the territory her fingers had once claimed. </p><p>It didn’t take long before Yaz’s squeals and moans gave way to full, unmistakable screams, ones that could probably be heard even beyond the perception filters of the TARDIS. If it were possible for Sheffield passersby to notice the tremors of the blue box as Yaz climaxed from the Doctor’s work, she no longer cared. She had waited too long and hoped too long for this and she was going to soak up every ounce of joy she was getting from it.</p><p>Satisfied with her work, the Doctor moved herself to be back where their lips could meet again, which they did, bringing a new satisfyingly salty flavor to the mix. Their breathing had slowed and Yaz pulled away from the kiss for a moment to run her fingers through the Doctor’s hair, and take in her face again. Here, at last, was the Doctor. Her Doctor. All to herself for at least a little while.<br/>
“You sure know your way around down there for someone who used to be a bloke,” Yaz said with a grin. This made the Doctor laugh. </p><p>“Well, turns out maybe I wasn’t more often than I thought,” the Doctor replied. “Maybe I’ve got some residual muscle memories. In fact, it might actually--” Yaz could sense her Doctor was about to break the moment by launching into one of her speeches trying to analyze herself and the world around her, so she interrupted her with another kiss. </p><p>“Well maybe it’s time to see just how much those muscles remember,” Yaz said after breaking the kiss. The Doctor gave her a curious look before Yaz gave her a shove and slid on top of her. She gave the hanging suspenders a good tug as she steadied herself into a straddle on top of her Doctor, finding their balance again on the riser stairs. She began to undo the buttons on her Doctor’s teal green pants. It was Yaz’s turn, and she intended to take her time.</p>
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